kd7sov: (not my eyes)
I swear, it's a superpower.

It's been years since I tried for a username and found it already taken.

For "me" stuff, that's because I use my callsign, but even for character journals... littleboyof5 and spockambassador (the latter never used) on Livejournal were the only second-choice usernames I remember ever having to use. Meanwhile I've had [personal profile] venusadept_2 and jeanluc_1701 and [personal profile] baron_dragoon and [personal profile] needs_fern and [personal profile] seriallylucky and [personal profile] dalzoon and obstnatearth and [personal profile] lepata and [personal profile] magnetic_hair and even [personal profile] sunshine_celerystalks... I remember once registering nx_74205_a at Runescape...

And I've looked at a number of others without actually making the accounts; ican_fixit (Fix-It Felix Jr.), imgonna_wreckit (Wreck-It Ralph), and directive_classified (EVE) come to mind at the moment, though I know there have been others.

It's just... weird. But I'm willing to use it for good; if you want me to help you pick out a username, and I know the canon, feel free to ask me and I'll tell you the first thing that comes to mind. It should be available.
kd7sov: (light)

It seems I accidentally a plurk. Not sure it's really my thing, but it seems to serve [community profile] savetheearth in much the same way AIM serves [community profile] milliways_bar. So we'll see.

Of course, now I'm left with the same sort of "what now?" feeling I had when I got a facebook. And plurk doesn't even have Mousehunt.
kd7sov: (lightburst)
Okay, this is fairly disconcerting.

So. You've got me. I don't swear.
You've got Felix. Felix pretty much doesn't swear; in all the time I've played him at Milliways, I can only recall him doing so twice.
Then... you've got [personal profile] seriallylucky. He's slated for [community profile] savetheearth, which has as its premise that people from other universes have been reincarnated into this one, so they're basically human (or mundane animal) OCs based on their old selves who can gradually regain aspects of their previous incarnations. (There's some really fascinating stuff. No one I'm very familiar with except the brand-new Aragorn, but what the players of - particularly - Starscream and Her Imperious Condescension is quite worth watching.) So anyway. Fred here is Felix reincarnated.
And he swears. Bit of a pottymouth, actually; I have no idea where he gets it. I'm not entirely sure I want to app him like this, but I'm also not at all sure how to change him.
kd7sov: (Felix)
You know, sometimes I wonder about my brain.

So I've got Felix, yes? Simple guy, saved the world, all that jazz.
April of 2009, he shows up at [community profile] milliways_bar over on LJ, from three parts of his life.
November of '09, a DE response crosses him over with Young Wizards.
Shortly after this, [personal profile] dalzoon is born, spinning off from that DE and becoming a separate (if quieter) headvoice. His surname is produced by running "Vale" and "son" through an online translator until I found a language where the combination looked like a surname. In Dutch, it did.
May of 2010, I post a picture with Felix in it to my deviantART gallery. Others follow, and "dA Felix" begins to gain presence in my mind. Not a voice, though; as a result of an idle comment about "eloquent body language", I think of drawn!Felix as entirely silent.
Early 2011 (I don't know for sure, but the relevant document was created that January), an attempt at porting the Golden Sun universe into the Homestuck universe produces variants of all the GS party members. [livejournal.com profile] obstnatearth results; his last name, Zoonderdal, was an attempt at rendering Dalzoon into three syllables. I have no idea if "der" would be appropriate. (This Felix's voice has not been very much heard for some time.
March of 2013, I forcibly pull myself out of an RP slump with a dear_mun post. This has the unexpected result of persuading a Sheba to come to Milliways. More relevantly, something about it hits me hard with the RP bug, as I begin investigating other games and even writing apps. One of these games, [community profile] savetheearth, strikes me as a good place to send Felix, but it wants a native version thereof. I toy with the idea of adapting Felix Dalzoon, but decide to go a different route. The result is (or will be, once I put a little more effort into things) [personal profile] seriallylucky, Fred Vandenberg - whose surname is chosen solely because it's vaguely fitting and appears on a list of common Dutch surnames.

So. That's four separate journals, at least eight semi-distinct voices, all for essentially the same character. I blame you, Chanter.

(The best part doesn't even line up with the rest of it. You know one reason I'm glad I didn't try to port [personal profile] dalzoon? His occupation - high-school biology teacher - is already specifically taken by someone else in [community profile] savetheearth. Talk about crazy random happenstance.)


Apr. 23rd, 2012 05:28 pm
kd7sov: (glasses)
I have noticed, recently, a change in the way I act and perceive myself relative to [personal profile] leeshajoy, at least where pony-munning matters are concerned.

In the beginning... )
kd7sov: (hide)
I wonder how many people can legitimately say that the voices in their heads keep them sane?

It's odd to say, I know. But if one's definition of sanity includes understanding and being able to deal with other people, I'd say it's accurate enough for me.

Way back when I started at Milliways, I believed I played Felix basically as myself. This was not entirely true - I played him as somewhere between myself and his canonical self, with a few aspects from neither. Vestiges of this remain to this day. But it sort of set the stage for playing him as he actually is, and even more, hearing him. The Felix who lives in my head today may not be precisely the canonical Felix. But he specifically isn't me. He has different goals, motivations, and responses than I do. And because he isn't me, but I have access to his personality, I have that much more understanding of persons-other-than-me. It's no longer exactly trial and error - or it is, but without external consequences.

And the other voices I've picked up along the way - Kain, and Rose, and Fluttershy, and Applejack, and to a lesser degree Spock and Karis, and even the alternate Felixes - all help. They're at different degrees of not-me, but more importantly, they're in different directions. Even if Rose were more like me, she wouldn't necessarily be more like Kain. Spock isn't on the same line as Fluttershy, no matter what their respective 'distances'. And so on. Which means that I have more places I can look to figure out what people expect, and how they will react to whatever I do.

I still don't expect to ever be "normal", but because of headvoices I think I can fake it better than I used to.


Jun. 20th, 2011 10:38 am
kd7sov: (fluttershy)
Four weeks.

Four weeks, with a margin of less than half a day, between first beginning to watch My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and having a Milliways app ready to send in.

That is an insane record. For Golden Sun: Dark Dawn, it was just over four months. All my previous pups have been a matter of years; Frederic was over a decade.

And yet, Fluttershy started actively talking to me two or three days in. Clearly, something's different about this canon.
kd7sov: (fluttershy)
It is very interesting to rewatch My Little Pony specifically watching for Fluttershy, what she does and why. It's not my only focus - I'm also on the lookout for hilarious youtube subtitles - but it is a thing I'm looking for.

For instance, the episode Dragonshy. When I first watched it I was all "character defamation!" Which, yes, it kind of is, but it's also quite revealing.

The revelations )
kd7sov: (Default)
Well. A week has passed since I last posted, and quite a week it's been.

I got Dark Dawn, and am pleased with it. Not pleased enough with aspects of the worldbuilding to retcon my millicanon enough to fit, but I enjoy the game. Now I'm debating whether to cultivate a particular proto-headvoice for Milliways or give Felix opportunity to meet her.

Thursday, though, was pretty bad. I spent most of the day in bed, throwing up. The next three-four days were spent with a throat full of sore, a head full of stuffed, and ears full of ache. Monday was borderline, and Tuesday I felt well enough to resume life.

Unfortunately, Tuesday was prone to network and scheduling problems. And ljlogin becoming broken, for no good reason I can find. So now I am finally able to return to my internets, catch up on my flist, and so on. This afternoon I think I'll EP with some advance setup for a Dark Dawn-inspired plot.

In the meantime, have a meme.

Ask me about any character, and I will tell you some combination of:

a) five facts about them from my personal fanon
b) two reasons they're amazing
c) five things I'd like to see happen to them
d) three people I might ship them with and why
e) if I don't know them, I will make something up

Obviously, characters you know I know are best, but I doubt there are many of those; as long as you avoid non-Ghibli anime and manga, I should be able to do at least e) above.
kd7sov: (maaaaagic cat)
From [livejournal.com profile] ceitfianna: Comment and I'll pick six interests of yours, which you then have to describe!

Fi picked:

These six. )

If asked, I could ramble on about Avalon Code for considerably more time, but it wouldn't be long before the discussion dissolved into spoilery stuff or disjointed musings about characterization and worldbuilding.
kd7sov: (Default)
Last night in Crackchat, someone (one of the people whose names tend to slip my mind, sorry) linked to the 365 Questions character exercise. It seemed like something that might be interesting to try, so - at least for a while - I will be considering a question per day.

Without further ado, then: October 10: What does your character feel least confident about? )
kd7sov: (glasses)
As of today, September 14, there are 76 days until Golden Sun: Dark Dawn is released in North America, on November 29.

Curiously, it is also 110 days before I can reasonably expect to see the new characters - or new versions of existing characters - in Milliways.

You see, the release date is at the end of the month. While it is probably possible to play sufficiently and write up an app within nine days, I don't find it likely. But give it another month, until the January app cycle, and many things are possible.

Now, in my experience apps don't get processed on the first of the month. Therefore, January 2 is the first date I can point to and say "hey, there might be Dark Dawn peeps showing up". Coincidentally, January 2 is 110 days from today.
kd7sov: (Felix)
I've said, a few times, that I don't actually get angst or depression.

Apparently, though, Felix does.

Cubefall's coming up, at Milliways, and for the last several months I've been OOMing a strung-together dream for Felix, more-or-less set to the first couple of verses of "At the Beginning". (Originally it was going to be the whole thing, but I fell behind.) This dream consists of flashbacks, might-have-beens, and other such things, relating to his relationship with Sheba.

Now, according to my millicanon, Sheba died a couple of years after the events of the games. Felix being who he is, this hit him pretty hard. I never quite realized how hard until today, when I typed up a segment of the dream dealing with her funeral. It's not overtly more intense than, for instance, what I posted as his "worst nightmare" some months ago, but what he was saying to me behind the words, behind the scene...
kd7sov: (Felix)
Part 1, though unlabeled as such, is here at his journal.

Why does Felix think the way he thinks? Part of it, as discussed the other day, is because of his element. Another significant part is connected to his life experiences.

As some of you may have noticed, early!Felix has undergone some significant development in his time at Milliways. In the beginning I was aiming for "rather timid", tempered by the fact that Bar seems to have a calming effect on him. I'm not sure how much of that is his ordinary state, and how much is due to being unexpectedly flung into a series of new circumstances. It couldn't last too very long, though: once Saturos started training him, he wouldn't stand for timidity. Over only a couple of months, Felix adopted a gruffer, more focused manner that he will have, in some degree, for probably the remainder of his life.

At about the same time, he started to gain access to his Psynergy, and thus become attuned to his element. Besides encouraging the traits that are directly connected with Earth, this had the effect of reinforcing his most common thought patterns of the time - Earth being the element of stability. Because of the particular millicanonical way Psynergy works, combined with an expedition to see the encroaching void, he also became firmly convinced that his world needed saving. He didn't, at that time, feel any particular urgency to go out and save it himself, mainly because most of the people around him seemed to be doing what they could. Although many leaders on his world have Earth-affinity, it's generally considered unwise to challenge a Fire person who wants to be in charge.

Felix's particular impetus for personally ensuring that the world be saved came some time between when the Mercury and Venus lighthouses were lit. I don't know for certain what the specific trigger was, as there were several things happening at roughly the same time - Jenna becoming willing to listen to him, the group starting to fall apart, finding Sheba - any one of which could have been the cause. Whatever the reason, from that point on he was fully committed to the quest. Once he reaches this point in Milliways he will also be very prone to trying to save others' worlds if he thinks they need it.

Once all the lighthouses were lit and Alchemy was restored, Felix's major goal changed from making the world safe to keeping it that way. As he saw it, the best way to do that was to keep moving, never staying in the same place for too long, both to stay flexible and to increase the chances that he would hear about a crisis in time to avert it. It's possible that he became rather depressed and a litle masochistic at this point - an extension of "I'd like to settle down, but it wouldn't be the best thing, so I won't. Therefore, whatever I'd like, I won't get." (This is one reason I don't expect to play him during this period.)

I don't know, at this point, what pulled him out of this. I suspect that Sheba coming of age was involved. What I do know for certain is that when Sheba died, about five years after the lighthouses were lit and two or so years before late!Felix showed up at Milliways, he plunged deeply into depression. His devotion to his world kept him from suicide, but he spent most of his time avoiding people and those places that would remind him of her.

I have an idea that someone - probably either his sister or Mia - tracked him down after a while of this and told him to wake up. Which he did, but slowly - Milliways, and the realization that it wasn't (entirely) a dream, helped an awful lot, but he didn't get a door for several more months.


kd7sov: (Default)
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