A sufficiently desperate amalgamated waffle sorter

This was a failure.
I'm making a note here:
NOT SUCCESS.
It's hard to understate
my satisfaction.
The Census Bureau
We call everyone
because we can.
For the good of nobody.
We don't make anyone dead.

But there's no sense crying
over every mistake.
You just keep on trying
till you run out of names.
And the calling gets done.
And you bother every one.
Of the people who are
still alive.

( Dear <<Subject Organization Here>> )

Frosty the Snowman
Came to Runescape on this day,
And he brought some friends
'Cause the fun soon ends
And there's more when it's split more ways!

...etc. I can't filk the rest very well, partly because I don't have access to the full lyrics.

To put it another way, the Runescape holiday event has started, and it's about snowmen.